But before we started our prayer, there were three ladies from the prayer team who talked about what they do and why they started the prayer group at Epworth. There was one lady, Miss Ruby, who really got to me with her words. It was like sitting on the front porch with my grandmother while she gave me words of inspiration. I'm not sure if she has any idea that her words really touched me, but she said a lot of things that I needed to hear.
In particular, she started talking about flowers, and mentioned specifically, the dandelion. She said most people look at the dandelion and see nothing but a weed. They pluck them up and throw them away because it's something you don't want in your yard. But she said, take time to look at the dandelion, because it's one of the most complex flowers you can find.
Most flowers have a particular number of petals that you can expect to find. But with a dandelion, because they are so complex and so varied, no two are the same. The other interesting thing is that a dandelion is not actually one flower, but several flowers that come together. The outside is the disc, and the middle is made up of little florets. It's fascinating.
In addition, the dandelion is one of the most resilient flowers, able to survive and thrive in almost any condition. It also has known health benefits, and is listed as one of the top six herbs in Chinese medicine.
But what's interesting about the dandelion doesn't end there...
At the end of the dandelion's life, it turns into this ghost like thing and the seeds fly away so that the plant may be reborn.
What an image of resurrection, of new life, of new beginning.
The dandelion is a lot like us. We are resilient, even though we don't always feel that way. We are complex. Our personalities, our lives, our backgrounds, our histories are all different. No two of us are the same. But the best part is that our lives don't end at our death. Instead that is the moment that we are reborn, when we have the opportunity to be with God, to have that resurrection and that tangible promise of fellowship with the One who created us.
Last night, Miss Ruby's words really stuck out to me, because they were words that I needed to hear. I posted on Facebook last week the words of one of my favorite hymns, "The Hymn of Promise" which said:
"In the end is our beginning, in our time infinity. In our doubt there is believing. In our life, eternity. In our death, a resurrection. At the last, a victory; unrevealed until it's season, something God alone can see."
I love these words, because they give me hope. We don't have to know all of the answers. We don't have to know where our lives will lead us. We don't have to know exactly what we will be doing from one day to the next. We simply need to allow ourselves to breathe, to take one step at a time, to relish in those good moments and breathe deeply through the bad ones. And sometimes we need to just be... But what we do know, what we are assured through scripture, through what Jesus taught us, is that our death, our suffering, our moments of shame and of doubt are not in vain, but they come with the promise of resurrection, of new life.
Just like the dandelion, we will give up what we once were, to have a new and better life.
Every once in a while in the past few days, I encounter someone who hasn't heard the news yet about our miscarriage. They ask how my pregnancy is going, and I have to face the painful sting, all over again, of explaining what happened. It hurts, and I feel like I have to keep facing the reality of it all, over and over again. But then I remember the dandelion. I remember what Jesus did for me, and I remember that what I'm going through is temporary. I will always miss Taylor, and I will always think about the life that could have been. But this moment of agony, and of angst, and of wondering what will happen next is only temporary.
So here it is, my blessing for the day. Pajamas. Yes, I said it, pajamas. I get so tickled at people who post things on Facebook about feeling bad about wearing their pajamas at 5 o'clock. They would be shocked if they came to our house. When I'm home, I want to be comfortable. I don't stay in my work clothes or my Sunday best. I get comfy. Nathan and I are both that way, and of course, Cameron is too. My child hates to wear clothes anyway, so he's usually wearing something pretty snuggly around the house. I love pajamas. Today is a rainy day, and it's a good day for snuggling. As soon as I get home from work today, I'm throwing on my pajamas and loafing on the couch with my baby and it is going to be glorious. There will be no shame, only comfort, and I am really looking forward to it. :)
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